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I’m Not Good Enough
 By
Dave Preston
Ever had someone, usually not a motorcyclist, ask you how good a
rider you are? In order to come up with an answer, I need to ask
them several qualifying questions in return, and even then I’m not
sure what to say.
However, I can think of many areas where I know I’m not good enough.
How do your own skills match up with this list?
I KNOW I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH TO:
1. Ride with alcohol or drugs. Must admit, it’s a fact that I
have never done drugs (Weird, I know – a liberal who graduated from
high school in 1965 and college in 1969 who has no experience with
drugs? How’s that possible? Different column, I expect), but I do
enjoy the occasional beer or two. A fine glass of something stronger
is a great way to end a day – but neither of them when I am riding.
Riding demands rapid reflexes on call at all times, even if they’re
not used, and my own reflexes are simply not fast enough to have any
surplus to squander.
2. Get away with stunts. We’ve had Jason Britton come to our
motorcycle store for two years in a row to put on his stunt show,
and he is so impressive. In fact, not only his riding, but also his
professionalism is at a top level – so much so that he has changed
my perception of “stuntas” and allowed them, perhaps begrudgingly, a
place in “my” sport. Having said that, I’m not good enough myself to
do any of the stunts, or to bear up to the physical, financial and
emotional cost of practicing them until I’ve attained any degree of
proficiency.
I am quite happy simply to ride a motorcycle – any motorcycle – with
both wheels on the ground. Which leads me to admit I am not even
good enough to…
3. Do wheelies. Kind of related to stunts in a way. Back in
the day, someone who did wheelies had an unusual bike and some great
skills. Now all you need is most any bike of sporting pedigree, a
hefty yank of the right wrist, and perhaps a disdain for other road
users and the consequences of your actions. They’re not even real
stunts any more: too common. Not to me. A wheelie is just an obvious
indication that the rear suspension is not working as designed. The
only time I wheelie is when the bike is wheelie-prone and I’ve had a
moment of brain fade – never intentionally.
4. Drag my knee. Most of the British bike mags make dragging
one’s knee a ritual of manhood. (Women? Most British mags are still
too sexist to imagine women can ride at all.)
I don’t get the concept. On a racetrack it makes perfect sense to
use your body position to weight the bike and reach the same
cornering capability with more tire on the ground, and to use a knee
as a “feeler,” but on the street? With a school bus stopped around
the corner, the blind corner that has leaves at the apex, a pothole
near the centerline AND a frenzied dog that until today had chased
everything and never gotten hurt? An experienced road racer told me
in all sincerity that he could react more rapidly with his knee on
the ground than not. Bully for him. He is not most, and he sure ain’t me.
I have, on more than one occasion, caught up to people riding hard
on back roads, people who were very proud of their ability to hang
off. They did look cool, but took so much time to set up for the
maneuver they had no time for other things – like the brakes. On a
couple of occasions I nearly rammed a rider while he was “getting
ready” to corner with his knee on the ground.
OK – here comes the official curmudgeon part. If sitting on the seat
was good enough for Mike Hailwood, it is good enough for me. If you
do not agree with me, the odds are pretty high you do not know who
Mike Hailwood was either. A pity.
5. Ride when cold or wet. I know what hypothermia feels like
– been there, done that. Spent much of my Minnesota youth playing
hockey - rather badly. My hands and feet are still affected and get
cold easily. Cold hands and feet do not manipulate the controls
well, particularly when receiving orders from a brain “dumbed down”
by the cold. And yes, I cannot afford much dumbing
down, either!
Besides, today there is no reason to ride cold and wet. When I was a
(relatively) starving college student in Minnesota, with a girl
friend 45 minutes away, in November, and a bike and little gear,
riding in extreme cold was part of the deal. I stopped when snow
made it impossible. Did I mention I was dumb? Today I can select
from a panoply of technological wonder fabrics and electric
additions to my gear.
For years I pooh-poohed heated grips. I could not see how heating
the palm of your hand could help all that much when the cold air was
assaulting the back of the hand. Well… I was wrong. Heated grips, as
factory accessories or aftermarket products – flat work. Once you
have them you’ll never want to be without. Add to that fully
waterproof boots and gloves, rainproof jeans, overpants, suits,
vests, neck tube warmers, electric gear of many types and styles -
it goes on and on. I may choose to ride in the wet and cold, but I
can also choose not to be wet and cold myself – and I do!
6. Use cheap gear. I’m not good enough to ride with anything
less than the best gear. I will need it – just can’t predict when.
When younger I could not afford an Arai Corsair helmet, or Vanson
leathers, Sidi boots, or three pairs of gloves and a variety of rain
suits. On the other hand, most of these products did not exist then.
I DID have pretty good gear for the time, looking back, and always
placed a high priority on excellent gear. I know my skills are not
enough to make a crash a statistical anomaly. Haven’t crashed in 38
years… but there is tomorrow.
7. Ride when tired or angry. It just ain’t worth it! If
tired, I need to stop. Even a 15-minute power nap can change your
world, and may be all that’s needed. Angry? I once broke up with a
girl in college – in fact I broke up with her several times. On one
of the last occasions, I stormed out, got on my bike and proceeded to
ride like an idiot for about 15 minutes. Fortunately, I did not
injure anyone else or find anything to hit. Finally, it dawned that
I’d wanted to purchase my first motorcycle for several years and had
known the girl for only one - the stereotypical epiphany where I
realized I could always get another girlfriend, but my bike… In any
case, I have not ridden while really angry since.
8. Listen to music or a phone. I have several issues with the
use of earphones. I’m deaf enough as it is, and don’t want to lose
any more ambient traffic noise – which provides crucial clues to
what is happening or may be about to happen – than I have to. When
you listen to music, do you not tend to get into the rhythm and mood
of the song? If you’re listening to music that sounds like the
soundtrack to a fast and exciting movie, isn’t there a tendency to
ride your bike to match? Unfortunately, reality may be showing a
different film. Then there is the loss of listening to the bike
itself. Be it a single, twin, triple, or four – I have been
entranced by the sounds of motorcycles from a very early age – there
IS no better music. As for phones – what’s up with that? Having seen
what happens to people attempting (and failing) to operate CARS
competently while on the phone, you would add that to the
motorcycle? I have a fully charged cell phone on my hip at all
times. When it rings it is invariably business – so much so that I
routinely answer my cell phone with the standard business
greeting. Even asleep at home, the phone may ring at some ungodly
hour – and what are the odds it is good news then? In fact, the ONLY
time in my life I am not tied to a phone is when it is in the tank
bag and I am riding – why would anyone want to change that? Even if
I could, my powers of concentration are being used to the max merely
riding the motorcycle.
9. Know it all. Been riding for 40 years. Because of my job,
not instead of it, I now get to ride 7 days a week if I wish, all
year round, and roughly 40 different bikes are added to my notes
each year. Last time I learned something new? Yesterday. Sometimes I
pick up tips that are so basic I’d be embarrassed to type them – how
could anyone with this much experience not know that? Don’t care.
The important thing is to remain open and keep learning. Which leads
me to… I am not good enough to…
10. Know the right bike for each person. I know what the term
“motorcycle” means to me, and what sort of looks, design and level
of performance will be right for me. Anyone else? I can learn, but
never know on first acquaintance. Some people love bikes for reasons
that elude me. Good for them! On the other hand, I am good enough to
know that this is the golden age for motorcycles, despite all
political landmines over rules, regulations, and land access for
dirt bikes, not to mention crazed robotoid drivers on cell phones or
worse. I’m good enough to know that I can ride, and should ride, and
will ride!
Dave Preston is the author of Motorcycle 101, a sensible book
for the new and returning rider. |
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