GIFT GUIDE FOR NON-MOTORCYCLISTS
 By
Dave Preston
The holiday season – the time of year when gift guides pop up all
over. BUT! - how many of them actually apply to you?
People who have motorcycles tend to know what they want, but many
givers are clueless about motorcycles. I know… what a tragic lot
they are, but that’s a different story. Bless their hearts, they
wish to buy a gift for that special someone (you) who rides. But
what, exactly?
I’m here to rescue your holiday! Many of the items presented here
can be purchased without the buyer knowing much of anything about
motorcycles. Simply print this article out and leave in a
conspicuous place where that someone who wants to or needs to
purchase you a gift can see it – hey, it could work! All of these
products are available from your favorite local dealer. Of course,
it would be a good idea to print your year, brand, and model of
motorcycle on it so they won’t need to ask you.
And why is that? Decades ago I worked the summers as a parts
person at Cycle Barn. One day a nice woman came in and said she
needed a “sprocket” for her husband’s motorcycle. She had no idea
what a sprocket was, or what a motorcycle was for that matter, and
could not recall what brand and model her husband rode. What were
the odds of her getting the correct part?
I began by asking her about the front fender – was it close to
the tire or up in the air? Up in the air – good – we’re talking dirt
bike. What color? Red. OK – it’s a Honda. I asked her to visualize
the seat - to see it in her mind’s eye. Was there writing on it in
white letters? Almost in a trance, she said, “Yes there is!” There
were a few more questions, and that became the saga of how she came
to purchase a countershaft sprocket for her husband’s 250cc Honda
motocross bike. Would have been much simpler if he had written it
down!
Sometimes we assume our loved ones know all about our motorcycle…
for the simple reason that we talk about it all the time. This
defies logic of course, as anyone who has been in a “quality”
relationship has been guilty, once in a great while, of listening at
lower than 100% efficiency – did I write that carefully enough? In
any case, write down the year, make, model, and color of your bike
on this article!
Now then, on to your shopping list.
LESS EXPENSIVE:
1. Stockings! One of life’s luxuries you may not get
around to spoiling yourself with is a nice pair (or three) of
knee-high riding socks. Modern products made for motorcycle usage
have the ability to wick away moisture, coddle your feet, and can
keep your tootsies cozy all day. Some can even reverse themselves
and keep your feet cool in the hot weather of next summer. There
will be hot weather some time, after all, – and I firmly believe
there will be a summer some year as well!
2. “Turtle fur” neck tube. One of the best products ever,
and available under a variety of brand names. This is simply a
fabric tube you pull over your head to cover the gap between the
neck of your jacket and the lower edge of your helmet. Once you have
one, you’ll wonder why you did not make such a purchase years ago.
If you already have one, you’ll like having two!
3. Cleaning and maintenance products. A clean motorcycle
is less likely to crash. (Literally true, but for other reasons). In
any case, a gift giver can shop for cleaning products confident in
the knowledge that their motorcyclist can never have too much of a
good thing. Some of my favorites are:
a. Simichrome polish. Expensive as sin, and worth it.
I don’t know what’s in it (that might be a good thing) but
Simichrome can make almost any metal look like lustrous chrome.
Decades ago I used it on the cheap pot metal switchgear of a
couple of bikes and made them look chromed. Now I use it on the
mufflers of my Speed Triple – one application and you’ll need
sunglasses (literally) to look at them in the sun – if we ever
had sun.
b. Chain lube or chain wax. Some people have a
preference, some don’t. I prefer to use whatever I have, and use
it frequently. Cover this item with a black magic marker if your
bike has shaft drive!
c. WD – 40. Let’s not ignore the basics. WD-40 is one
of the two “tools” I think I can handle. The other one is duct
tape. So many uses. Most basic: WD40 on a paper towel seems to
be the perfect way to clean the rear wheel on a chain-drive
bike.
d. Duct tape. Make sure they understand the term to be
“duct” and not “duck,” or you might get a present you have
little understanding of!
4. Logo valve stem caps. For this one your gift purchaser
will need to know what brand you prefer. Valve stem caps are the
type of ego- silliness you might not purchase for yourself, but like
to have on the bike. Often sold as a set of 4, so you may end up
with a cool gift for someone else as well!
5. “Spirit bell.” Speaking of silly… Clever marketing for
sure. This is a small bell designed to keep bad spirits away, but is
said to work only when given as a gift – thereby encouraging people
to buy them for others. Available at all dealers!
6. Posters. Are your garage walls covered? There’s always
room for a cool poster of a cool bike ridden aggressively by someone
you can convince yourself you sort of look like – maybe.
7. Hat. Enough of this Seahawks this and Husky or Cougar
that. What you NEED is a hat that shows off your chosen brand of
motorcycle.
8. T-shirt. Same as #7.
MODERATELY COSTLY:
1. Gloves. I’m the Imelda Marcos of motorcycle gloves. I
have several pair and always want more. Heavy winter gloves –
lighter for summer, specialized rain gloves, snazzy road race items
– I like them all and usually carry at least three pair with me on a
ride. While writing this I strolled back to the glove section at
Lynnwood Cycle Barn to count the options and found that there were,
quite literally, more pairs of gloves on display than I could count!
Your buyer can guess on the size – you can always take them back and
return for the correct size.
2. Logo belt. How about a new belt with the logo of your
favorite brand? Again, for this one the giver needs to know what
brand of motorcycle you ride.
3. Rainsuit. Not the serious rain suit you reserve for all
day rides of length, but the less expensive sort you can stash at
work or home for those days when you’re surprised by changes in the
weather. A staff person in the accessories department can assist
your buyer with just the thing.
4. Gear bag. These are so handy for all sorts of uses.
Meant for dirt bike riders to stash all of their layers and types of
gear, I find mine handy for longer trips in the car – or for
carrying all of our snorkel gear if we can escape to Hawaii. If you
receive one with your favorite OEM or aftermarket company logo
you’ll feel like a sponsored pro wherever you go! …Or not.
5. Tire repair kit. If you don’t have one, you’ll want one
– some day. I learned this… twice. Debates rage about the efficacy
of the competing products, but no matter what, all of them are
better than one you do not have! Have your gifter ask the friendly
staff for a road emergency tire repair kit – it’s a start!
6. Shoes! A recent trend is aftermarket shoes that are
essentially tennies with some protection. The rationale is that some
young people will not wear the fully protective boots because they
are not “cool,” but will wear modified tennies that are not fully
protective but far superior to what they might wear otherwise. Plus,
there’s probably a buck or two to be made as well.
All brands and styles are available. I purchased some “Triumph”
shoes a couple of years ago that have done well. Last week I bought
some Alpinestar “Stunter” shoes which we decided, in my case, should
be called “Poser” shoes. In any case, they fit well, look good, are
comfy, and do have a motorsports connection with the snazzy
Alpinestar logos in red – much better than boring old sports shoes
from a “normal” store. And, although I would not recommend them for
serious riding, if I needed to ride a bike some day and had them on,
it would not be the end of the world.
7. Casual wear. Many of the manufacturers have finally
learned what Harley-Davidson has been teaching them for years –
people love to buy clothes with the logo of the brand they ride –
whether or not those clothes will be worn while riding. Triumph has
really stepped it up in the past three years with a wide array of
shirts and vests and jackets in all weights – and so consistently
well-made and attractive that I’ve been given a “free pass” by my
wife to actually make my own purchase selections of either Triumph
or Harley-Davidson clothing items. (These are the two brands I ride
most often in a typical year – for now) Keeping in mind my total
lack of fashion sense, this is a real compliment to the designers,
as she has never seen a product of theirs she does not like. Your gifter should be able to find all sorts of good lookin’ threads with
your favorite OEM or aftermarket brand affixed.
8. For the giver for whom even this list is too
intimidating - just two words: GIFT CERTIFICATE!
OHMYGOSHYOU’REKIDDING ME EXPENSIVE…
People who give gifts in this range usually have done research
and know exactly what to purchase. At least that is what I’m told.
If you have a chance, merely drop hints – the name of that tour
company in Europe or New Zealand, your favorite brand of exotica,
etc…. and don’t forget to take out the garbage and put the toilet
seat down – couldn’t hurt!
In any case: HAPPY HOLIDAYS to you and yours!
Dave Preston
Dave Preston is the author of Motorcycle 101, a sensible book
for the new and returning rider. |
