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Tire Repair - It's like eating ribs - right?

You love good food and you're a big fan of Bar-B-Que. You're also everyone's favorite McGiever, and whatever tech gets thrown at you from a motorcycle, you can overcome it.

So, there you are, riding along, when all the sudden, the wheel goes flat… and across the road… in the middle of nowhere… you've landed in front a Bar-B-Que joint.

Big problem. You can't decide what to do first. Go in and order a fat slab of ribs, or fix the tire and then gorge yourself.

Eventually, the pragmatic side of you kicks in, tugging at you to fix the tire first and then eat. That way if you didn't get the seal just right, you'll know when you check pressure later - after lunch. You're a freakin' genius!

So, it's off to work you go. First you identify where the puncture is. This is quite similar to standing in front of a menu and deciding which way to go with your order. Eventually you locate the puncture and determine the cure. A lot like deciding on the options. Ribs or pulled pork, and what sides to go with today.

Now you must patch the tire. Have you ever gotten a rib plate, only to find they goosed it with so much sauce you're having trouble tasting the meat? Sometimes tire repairs aren't what you expect either. You pull out the nail, thinking you'll sink in a sticky string, only to remember you have tubed tires, so the wheel must come off. This is a lot like wiping the excess sauce off those drowned ribs so you can actually get things under control. No? Only this time, it's not about taking off the excess sauce, it's about removing the tire. Dang it!

Slime is your friend. Just fill the tube with Slime and do the big ordeal later. Be sure to use Slime, not the excess sauce from your ribs.

You took a short cut. You're feeling a sense of accomplishment. Eating ribs is similar. You gotta cut through them, or grind on them like daddy's Selectric and work off all the protein, and then you're done. It only takes a few minutes. Like a simple tire repair should.

And like good ribs, you wouldn't eat them day in, day out, just enjoy them in moderation, just like a good tire repair moment.

When you finally wolfed down all the ribs, after having fixed the friggin' tire, there's only one thing left to do with your grubby hands - reach for a Wet Nap - again.

Gary Meeker/April 2017


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