Why I Didn't Wave

But I Like You Anyway

Hey, I know Dave Preston, he's a nice guy. And when he turned in his feature this month, Why I Always Wave, it reminded me that I've been concocting a counter feature of my own on the subject, so now he's going to drag it out of me.

10. At 120 mph you'll never see me - See, when I'm traveling down I-5 at 60 mph (or so), the last thing I'm looking for is you coming in the opposite direction at 60 mph (or so). All of the sudden your hand comes up off the bar to wave at me. Oh, gosh, I was so busy trying to deflect the numb nut that wants to pass me on the left in the H.O.V. lane I barely caught your wave baby. And now I figure we're going to pass each other at 120 mph (60 in your direction, 60 in mine, you gettin the math yet). There's no time for me to get my hand off the bar fast enough to wave at ya. But I still like ya anyway, whoever you are.

9. I'm on a new bike - Sometimes dealers let me road test a new bike. Not having much experience with it the last thing I'm gonna do is take my hand off the bar to wave. But I still like ya anyway, whoever you are.

8. Some joker is tailgating me - I'm already using my hand for something else in this case, most likely I'm holding two fingers behind my back to get the motorist behind me to remember the two second rule. Works good most of the time, but I had to forfeit your wave. But I still like ya anyway, whoever you are.

7. Just had a fight with my girlfriend - Well that used to be the case, but I've since dumped her so now I've got more time to look for you and wave.

6. Something on the sidewalk requiring more attention - See, ever since I dumped my girlfriend I've been seeing things on the sidewalk that are worth a second look and might miss you as I pass you by. But I still like ya anyway, whoever you are.

5. I'm clutching - How is it that you are riding so free and easy through a turn, while I'm having to clutch. You musty be on a Helix or something. But I still like ya anyway, whoever you are.

4. My hand went numb - It's my 11th hour on the bike today and I lost use of my left hand about 60 miles back. Only problem now is that I'm starting not to feel the right one either. Wake me up doctor!

3. It's raining cats and dogs - I'm being mister all-season rider guy and making my way through the rain being super careful and you ride by with a wave. What, is it summer on your side of the street, get your hand back on the bar.

2. I'm dialing my cell phone - Just kidding.

1. I'm busy breaking the wind - Oh sure, sit there like you've never done this yourself on your motorcycle. You know the drill, get a burrito somewhere then head back home. Next thing you know there's a little pain in your lower intestine. You start to adjust your middle section, then lift off the seat by pressing your body upward and transferring your weight to the bars - ahhh. There we go. Feels better now. And don't say you've never done this before bubba or I'll send a gastrointestinologist over right away to see what's wrong with you. I would never wave whilst in the middle of this act...But I still like ya anyway, whoever you are.

TM/Summer 00